Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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