What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Can I color on your dick again?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
