Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My feet surprised me
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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