This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
