Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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