i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
