I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Everything about him screamed your future.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
