i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
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Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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