Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
