found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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