dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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