Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
