I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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