Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
