listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
