Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
