I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i came on her dog
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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