Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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