just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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