Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
