The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize