I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We're too hungover to prance.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
