Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
