I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
