"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
