i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
