That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
