If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
