Don't make out with my wife yet
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
