TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
