we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
