Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
