hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Floor bacon is actually really good
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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