The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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