i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
honey bunches of taint.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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