I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
