I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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