just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
