I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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