I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
