cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
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Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
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i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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