Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You made out with two different species that night
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
