why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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