i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
