I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize