Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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