i used baking grease as lip gloss
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
