even my farts smell like vagina
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
