Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
