On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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