rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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