LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
