; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
