Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
