wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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