And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
