Sponge bath it is.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize