that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
