Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
