Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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