if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
