1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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